Opinion Piece

Sex and the Village: How to find a Male!

Right now I live and work in a small village in Panama. It’s small enough to be the main attraction of the town because I’m blonde, pale, skinny, and always wear belly-free shirts. Everybody knows me, everybody honks their horn at me, everybody greets me. (With “everybody” I mean Panamanian guys.) I get all kinds of compliments; from “preciosa” to “I like the way how you walk your dogs.” (By the way, that one was so funny that I spit out the beer I was drinking.) Every woman probably likes getting compliments or feels good when guys find her pretty. BUT: If guys stare you down in a way they do it here, it starts to get uncomfortable.
That’s why I pretty much rule out Panamanians in my search for a guy. The other main group of people living here are Americans. But most of them come here to retire; so they are old and will also not do. There is small percentage of Americans who are not so old (with that I mean around 30 to 38). It’s still not quite my age, but in an emergency like that it will have to do.
However, I still have not quite figured out how to get through to those guys. They always give me their numbers and tell me to call them if I want to go for a beer. But when I call, they have lame excuses like: “I have to repair my fridge.” or “I have to work early tomorrow.” Don’t they have the same needs I’m having? Girls (not me though) always complain about the guys thinking about sex all the time. But girls: don’t you also wanna spend a nice night…or two…or three…or four…or five? I think about sex a lot and the amount of time I think about it increases with every day I’m not having it. Of course, I’m not looking for a relationship because I’ll be leaving in 5 months anyway. But a fuck buddy would be nice. Maybe it would be easier if I told the guys that I don’t want any commitment, but just some fun. I guess, it’s in their genes that they are afraid of relationships. But how do you tell them? “Hi there…what are you doing? Do you wanna go for a friendly beer and then have some friendly non-commitment sex?” I think I’m too shy for that. I know, I know…nobody ever believes me when I say I’m shy. But I am…really!
And I can tell you: Having to work nights does not help in the search for a male because you can never go out and look who’s around you.
But do you know that saying: “Nothing is free, especially when it comes from a guy.”? Well, the owner of one of the rafting companies just took me rafting for free. So, now I’m waiting for him to ask for his payment!
Somebody told me it’s super easy to pick up a Panamanian guy. I don’t doubt that for a second. But I’m picky. However, I think I will have to lower my standards because I’m getting desperate. I already have three Panamanian guys lined up who’d love to relieve me. (Two of them are friends of my boss. I asked myself if she wants to hook me up.) But then I start to wonder: With how many guys can I sleep because I qualify for the slut of the village? Since it’s so small, everybody knows who has slept when with whom.
And today? Well, today I’m off (on a Saturday night) and would be able to go out, but it’s raining so heavily that absolutely nobody would be at the bar or club. I hate rainy season! So, I’m sitting here with a cat in my arm (better than nobody), a beer in my hand, in a pretty black dress, and I’m listening to the sounds of the rain and the snoring of the dogs.

To be continued (if anything interesting happens)…