Wetlands by Charlotte Roche
Some people described the book as entertaining and humorous, others as perverse and provocative. I would simply describe it as disgusting. In a way, it’s also entertaining because once you start reading, you don’t want to stop before you have finished it. But I’m sure that this book is responsible for my water bill being so high because ever since I read it, I make sure to wash my hands much more often and my showers are longer to make sure that I’m completely clean. I’m not conservative at all and I usually like reading about masturbation, sex or exchange of body fluids. I can recommend a very exciting erotic novel in German which is called Zuckermond by Astrid Martini. The dialogues are a bit flat, but the sex scenes are amazing! And who reads an erotic novel for the dialogues anyway? But in Wetlands, the protagonist describes how unhygienic she lives her life and that on purpose. She tells us how she wipes the toilet seat with her “pussy” ad how she leaves used tampons all over the hospital to make sure that other people benefit from her bacteria. She goes on describing how she doesn’t wash her vagina for weeks at a time, so that the smell is overpowering which is supposed to attract men. Is that true? If it is, I’ll stop dating at once! Or do guys really like it when girls wipe some wetness of their vagina behind their ear? I also wasn’t so keen on reading about her haemorrhoids surgery and how she deliberately hurt herself with pushing a pedal of a hospital bed up her butt to be able to stay longer in hospital because she fell in love with a male nurse. And for everybody who likes happy endings, I can assure that there is one. I, however, hate happy endings and that’s why I will stick to reading more horror fiction; it doesn’t make me feel so uncomfortable about people around me. I can deal better with murder than with bacteria. I’m not telling you not to read Wetlands. Read it! It’s definitely binding; just make sure you’ve already eaten and preferable already digested your food before reading it because you might loose your appetite.
Dienstag, 18. August 2009
Short Story
The Island
I thought that being an au pair in Finland would be a new and maybe even adventurous experience. But I didn’t know how adventurous!
I’m sitting in a little hut by a lake with no electricity and water in the middle of Finland and having a fire burning by my side. I can see the movement of the water and the wind in the leaves when I look out of the window. Sounds romantic, doesn’t it? But there is a problem; a big problem!
The hut I spend my nights in belongs to the property of my host mom’s mother and it is on an island which can only be reached by boat. The main house is quite small and doesn’t have enough space for all of us. And I was quite glad to have my own place to sleep in because I tend to wake up very easily when I share a room with somebody else. But the hut is about 500 m away from the main house. However, so far, I’ve made my way through the forest every morning to have my morning toilet and breakfast and it seemed good to have some fresh air right after getting up.
But one morning something seemed to be wrong. It was quieter than normal: I couldn’t hear any singing of the birds, the ducklings were gone and even the mosquitoes seemed to have disappeared. However, I still got up and went to the main house, but even that was quiet: No screaming of the two wild boys I take care of, no flickering TV and no Finnish voices. I figured that my host family must have gone to the main land to get some groceries because the boat was gone. So, I had breakfast alone and got dressed. I decided to sit by the lake and read while I was waiting for my host family to come back. But when it was afternoon, I became worried. They still weren’t back and I was seriously becoming to get bored. I tried calling them, but my Finnish phone connection was dead although I always had such a good connection here on the island in the middle of nowhere. And even my German phone didn’t work. It actually scared me a bit because now I couldn’t reach anybody in case something happened. But I thought that something must be wrong with the network. I had a quick lunch/dinner. However, I wasn’t really hungry because I felt quite lonely and I convinced myself that my host family would be back soon with delicious sausages for the bbq. But it became later and later and there was still no sign of them. Although the island isn’t big, there is one more house on it, but it also just serves as a summer cottage. So, I walked along the gravel road to find it and looked inside, but it seemed to be empty as well. I was sure that something must have happened to my host family. Maybe they had a terrible accident or maybe they all drowned. However, I decided to go to bed and hoped that it was all just a bad dream and that I would wake up and everything would be back to normal. The next morning, the birds, mosquitoes or ducklings still hadn’t returned and the main house was just as deserted. Since I was feeling like I was stuck in one of those horror movies I like to watch, I decided to try out the kajak to get to the main land. I had never used it before, but it wasn’t so hard. You just had to be careful to not turn it over when you got in. When I got to the main land, the car of my host family was gone. I walked along the street to the next few houses and all of them were empty. I didn’t see one cat or hear a dog barking. I didn’t know what else to do and went back to the island. Back there I realized that the electricity in the main house wasn’t working: the fridge wasn’t cold and none of the lights were working. I hadn’t realized it before because here in Finland it is so bright at night that you don’t need any artificial light. I have now been alone on the island for 4 days. I barely have any food left. I did a few more trips to the main land and walked along the street to knock on the doors of other houses, but all of them are empty and everything around me seems to be dead. I have the feeling that even the trees are dying. I have no idea what happened. Was there some kind of attack? But of what? Poison? An atomic bomb? And why did my host parents leave me alone? Did they have to flee so fast that there was no time to inform me? I don’t know what to do except to stay here and wait for somebody to turn up to rescue me. Where else should I go? My laptop battery is nearly empty and since the electricity isn’t working, I can’t charge it. So, I need to go. Bye!
I thought that being an au pair in Finland would be a new and maybe even adventurous experience. But I didn’t know how adventurous!
I’m sitting in a little hut by a lake with no electricity and water in the middle of Finland and having a fire burning by my side. I can see the movement of the water and the wind in the leaves when I look out of the window. Sounds romantic, doesn’t it? But there is a problem; a big problem!
The hut I spend my nights in belongs to the property of my host mom’s mother and it is on an island which can only be reached by boat. The main house is quite small and doesn’t have enough space for all of us. And I was quite glad to have my own place to sleep in because I tend to wake up very easily when I share a room with somebody else. But the hut is about 500 m away from the main house. However, so far, I’ve made my way through the forest every morning to have my morning toilet and breakfast and it seemed good to have some fresh air right after getting up.
But one morning something seemed to be wrong. It was quieter than normal: I couldn’t hear any singing of the birds, the ducklings were gone and even the mosquitoes seemed to have disappeared. However, I still got up and went to the main house, but even that was quiet: No screaming of the two wild boys I take care of, no flickering TV and no Finnish voices. I figured that my host family must have gone to the main land to get some groceries because the boat was gone. So, I had breakfast alone and got dressed. I decided to sit by the lake and read while I was waiting for my host family to come back. But when it was afternoon, I became worried. They still weren’t back and I was seriously becoming to get bored. I tried calling them, but my Finnish phone connection was dead although I always had such a good connection here on the island in the middle of nowhere. And even my German phone didn’t work. It actually scared me a bit because now I couldn’t reach anybody in case something happened. But I thought that something must be wrong with the network. I had a quick lunch/dinner. However, I wasn’t really hungry because I felt quite lonely and I convinced myself that my host family would be back soon with delicious sausages for the bbq. But it became later and later and there was still no sign of them. Although the island isn’t big, there is one more house on it, but it also just serves as a summer cottage. So, I walked along the gravel road to find it and looked inside, but it seemed to be empty as well. I was sure that something must have happened to my host family. Maybe they had a terrible accident or maybe they all drowned. However, I decided to go to bed and hoped that it was all just a bad dream and that I would wake up and everything would be back to normal. The next morning, the birds, mosquitoes or ducklings still hadn’t returned and the main house was just as deserted. Since I was feeling like I was stuck in one of those horror movies I like to watch, I decided to try out the kajak to get to the main land. I had never used it before, but it wasn’t so hard. You just had to be careful to not turn it over when you got in. When I got to the main land, the car of my host family was gone. I walked along the street to the next few houses and all of them were empty. I didn’t see one cat or hear a dog barking. I didn’t know what else to do and went back to the island. Back there I realized that the electricity in the main house wasn’t working: the fridge wasn’t cold and none of the lights were working. I hadn’t realized it before because here in Finland it is so bright at night that you don’t need any artificial light. I have now been alone on the island for 4 days. I barely have any food left. I did a few more trips to the main land and walked along the street to knock on the doors of other houses, but all of them are empty and everything around me seems to be dead. I have the feeling that even the trees are dying. I have no idea what happened. Was there some kind of attack? But of what? Poison? An atomic bomb? And why did my host parents leave me alone? Did they have to flee so fast that there was no time to inform me? I don’t know what to do except to stay here and wait for somebody to turn up to rescue me. Where else should I go? My laptop battery is nearly empty and since the electricity isn’t working, I can’t charge it. So, I need to go. Bye!
Donnerstag, 9. April 2009
Poem
When it’s Dark
I drink blood and kill,
I live in a castle on a hill.
I haunt humans on the streets
and they taste like sweets.
My next victim might be you
and you won’t make it through.
But don’t be aghast,
I’ll slay you fast.
I am strong and immortal,
and will succeed because I’m brutal.
Next century I will rule an empire,
as a creature of the night, a vampire.
I drink blood and kill,
I live in a castle on a hill.
I haunt humans on the streets
and they taste like sweets.
My next victim might be you
and you won’t make it through.
But don’t be aghast,
I’ll slay you fast.
I am strong and immortal,
and will succeed because I’m brutal.
Next century I will rule an empire,
as a creature of the night, a vampire.
Short Story
The World after the 1st of March
When I was younger I always wanted to be able to look into the future. I would have liked to have a time machine to see what’s going to come and how the world is going to change. But back then in 2009, I would never have been able to imagine that the world would be doomed ten years later; doomed because of World War III.
I guess it all started with the election of a young, charismatic president in the US. In his presidential campaign he had promised to finally bring the war in Iraq to an end. However, he was assassinated soon after his inauguration and his vice-president, a 70-year old war-veteran called Adrian Shotler probably wanted to continue playing war and instead of pulling the troops out of Iraq, he sent even more. Of course, the Iraqis weren’t happy about that. I remember that the war in Iraq had started because the Americans assumed that the Iraqis were building atomic bombs. However, the American troops never found any. And since the Americans didn’t come to the bombs, the bombs came to America. How the Iraqis were able to smuggle bombs of the size of a car to the States, nobody knows. But on 1 March, 2018, three atomic devices exploded in the USA destroying NYC, Washington DC, and Chicago and killing 3 million people. It is impossible to describe the chaos and mayhem which suddenly arose throughout the world. Lots of other nations acted rashly, especially the European Union which immediately agreed to also send troops to Iraq to destroy this country and its weapons. It soon developed into a war of religions: the Muslim-based countries against the Christian-based countries. And bombs started falling in Great Britain and all over Europe, too. Nobody in Britain was safe anymore and the few hundred thousand survivors were evacuated and brought to an uninhabited island which is now called New London. But our colony doesn’t have anything to do with London. It only consists of barracks where we sleep on straw and other barracks where we eat our apportioned food. It’s always cold and windy here because the island is located in the middle of the ocean. We don’t have telephones, computers, or TVs here; things I took for granted only a year ago. We don’t even have anything to do: there’s no work because we don’t have any tools or materials to build anything with. Once a week, a ship comes over here to bring some food, letters, and more refugees. Most of these refugees are even sicker than us and except for a few doctors, who have no tools except their own hands, there is no medical treatment here. I have been exposed to an atomic explosion myself and I can feel how my hair is falling out already. Our colony mostly consists of women because nearly all the men have been drafted to fight in the war. My boyfriend Michael died 2 months ago. I still can’t imagine that I’ll never see his smile again. For me all that is like a bad dream from which I’ll awake soon. There is nowhere for us to go: nearly all the countries in Europe have been destroyed and those which are not will not take any more refugees. I am not so sure what we are doing here. Are we waiting for the end of the war? Or the end of the world? And even if the war does stop, what will we do? Will we rebuild all of Europe? Will there be anything left to rebuild? And will there be enough healthy people to produce non-retarded children?
Einstein once said: “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.” I now, unfortunately, know the answer to the first part of his saying and I am sure that Einstein is right about the second part as well.
When I was younger I always wanted to be able to look into the future. I would have liked to have a time machine to see what’s going to come and how the world is going to change. But back then in 2009, I would never have been able to imagine that the world would be doomed ten years later; doomed because of World War III.
I guess it all started with the election of a young, charismatic president in the US. In his presidential campaign he had promised to finally bring the war in Iraq to an end. However, he was assassinated soon after his inauguration and his vice-president, a 70-year old war-veteran called Adrian Shotler probably wanted to continue playing war and instead of pulling the troops out of Iraq, he sent even more. Of course, the Iraqis weren’t happy about that. I remember that the war in Iraq had started because the Americans assumed that the Iraqis were building atomic bombs. However, the American troops never found any. And since the Americans didn’t come to the bombs, the bombs came to America. How the Iraqis were able to smuggle bombs of the size of a car to the States, nobody knows. But on 1 March, 2018, three atomic devices exploded in the USA destroying NYC, Washington DC, and Chicago and killing 3 million people. It is impossible to describe the chaos and mayhem which suddenly arose throughout the world. Lots of other nations acted rashly, especially the European Union which immediately agreed to also send troops to Iraq to destroy this country and its weapons. It soon developed into a war of religions: the Muslim-based countries against the Christian-based countries. And bombs started falling in Great Britain and all over Europe, too. Nobody in Britain was safe anymore and the few hundred thousand survivors were evacuated and brought to an uninhabited island which is now called New London. But our colony doesn’t have anything to do with London. It only consists of barracks where we sleep on straw and other barracks where we eat our apportioned food. It’s always cold and windy here because the island is located in the middle of the ocean. We don’t have telephones, computers, or TVs here; things I took for granted only a year ago. We don’t even have anything to do: there’s no work because we don’t have any tools or materials to build anything with. Once a week, a ship comes over here to bring some food, letters, and more refugees. Most of these refugees are even sicker than us and except for a few doctors, who have no tools except their own hands, there is no medical treatment here. I have been exposed to an atomic explosion myself and I can feel how my hair is falling out already. Our colony mostly consists of women because nearly all the men have been drafted to fight in the war. My boyfriend Michael died 2 months ago. I still can’t imagine that I’ll never see his smile again. For me all that is like a bad dream from which I’ll awake soon. There is nowhere for us to go: nearly all the countries in Europe have been destroyed and those which are not will not take any more refugees. I am not so sure what we are doing here. Are we waiting for the end of the war? Or the end of the world? And even if the war does stop, what will we do? Will we rebuild all of Europe? Will there be anything left to rebuild? And will there be enough healthy people to produce non-retarded children?
Einstein once said: “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.” I now, unfortunately, know the answer to the first part of his saying and I am sure that Einstein is right about the second part as well.
Poem
Calvin
In August a jester comes to town,
his clothes are green and yellow,
he makes me laugh when I am down,
he is a funny fellow.
Like a dragon he breaths fire,
known for juggling and for dancin’,
for entertaining the whole empire,
he’s known by the name of Calvin.
In August a jester comes to town,
his clothes are green and yellow,
he makes me laugh when I am down,
he is a funny fellow.
Like a dragon he breaths fire,
known for juggling and for dancin’,
for entertaining the whole empire,
he’s known by the name of Calvin.
Poem
What she Wants
People say what matters not is the size,
and maybe this saying is also very wise.
Really important is the technique,
that’s what one should seek.
But she wants someone who is perfect in technique and size
because then she is rewarded the best prize.
It has to be stimulating and rhythmic,
only that really makes it click.
He should know how to use his tongue great
because she’ll do the same for his little mate.
She likes to experiment with position,
she only follows her intuition.
She likes it scratchy, bity, and hot
because vanilla she is not.
A big plus would be a piercing,
it sure makes it all the more enticing.
What she wants is a perfect orgasm at the end,
that’s what she’ll expect from her boyfriend.
Therefore she wants the perfect mix,
because that makes the greatest sex.
People say what matters not is the size,
and maybe this saying is also very wise.
Really important is the technique,
that’s what one should seek.
But she wants someone who is perfect in technique and size
because then she is rewarded the best prize.
It has to be stimulating and rhythmic,
only that really makes it click.
He should know how to use his tongue great
because she’ll do the same for his little mate.
She likes to experiment with position,
she only follows her intuition.
She likes it scratchy, bity, and hot
because vanilla she is not.
A big plus would be a piercing,
it sure makes it all the more enticing.
What she wants is a perfect orgasm at the end,
that’s what she’ll expect from her boyfriend.
Therefore she wants the perfect mix,
because that makes the greatest sex.
Opinion Piece
Drugs!?
Seamus is an Irish lad from Galway (the party capital of Ireland). He’s probably the craziest guy I’ve been with and also the one that was most involved into drugs.
Ok, let’s be honest: In Ireland it’s totally normal to be smoking pot if you are in your 20’s or a bit younger and if you like socializing. Here’s a conversation between an Irish guy from Dublin and a girl:
GIRL: Do you smoke?
GUY: No, do you?
GIRL: Depends on what!
GUY: Oh, I smoke that, of course!
Seamus was just like that. He would never smoke a cigarette. He never had the urge for tobacco. But he loved his joints and bongs. He had also tried nearly every other kind of drug. And of course, he drank like an Irish. When I once asked him if there is any drug he hasn’t tried yet, he replied without even having to think about it: “Heroin! I would never to that. But everything else I’ve done!” He started smoking marihuana at the age of 16, but he didn’t on a regular basis before the age of 20. He used to take crack and ecstasy, but stopped because crack in particular can make a person very aggressive and he is too much of a laid-back guy to get into fights. He spends most of his evenings smoking 2-3 joints of marihuana or cannabis. And as everybody can assume, his best vacations he spent in the Netherlands! He sometimes also bragged about taking acid after having had 2 joints – a combination which never made sense to me- but that would not happen more often than once a month.
For most of you Seamus now probably sounds like a dumb, scruffy, anti-social, and unemployed drug-addict who doesn’t have a future because he only lives for his drugs. But that’s not true at all. Seamus was extremely intelligent and very interested in history. He had a well-paying job in a big company, but hoped that one day he’d be able to make a living as a musician. He was a fabulous drummer and singer. I’ve never met a guy who would spend more time in the bathroom before going out on Friday night. So, why did so many of my friends shook their head and had a disapproving look into their faces when I told them about Seamus and his little experiments with drugs?
I think, for most Germans, even for people my generation, smoking pot is a big taboo. Lot’s of them think that smoking grass is the entrance into a life of heroin-addiction and prostitution. On TV we can often see German teenagers who are from the worst parts of Berlin or Cologne who only have one goal: to acquire money to buy more pot. Those teenagers usually haven’t finished school, don’t have a job, and don’t have any interests apart from drugs. But not all joint-smokers are like that!
At the moment Seamus is working and travelling in New Zealand (where the pot is supposed to be of a very good quality, he told me) and he has met lots of other travelers from very different countries and he told me that of all the different nations he met, it was always the Germans who said that they don’t smoke grass. I also don’t personally know any Germans who smoke pot. Or do they just not talk about it? Quite a few American or a Kiwi college students would have problems to name one of their friends who NEVER smoked joints or bongs. And when Seamus was looking for a place to live in New Zealand, he looked at a room in a house of three guys and the first question they asked him was: “Do you smoke pot?” Of course, he immediately got the room! So, in lots of countries the people speak openly about marihuana consumption, but in Germany it’s not possible. I guess that is because in Germany pot is considered a strong drug and taking drugs is something that usually only happens in the lower class and being part of the lower class normally means being uneducated, scruffy, and unemployed. And who would want that? But that is a phenomenon that seems to exist only in Germany, because in the USA, Ireland, New Zealand, Australia … people of all classes tend to enjoy their pot!
I’m not saying that smoking marihuana is a good thing because it does kill loads of brain cells, more than alcohol does. But I know a few American straight A college students who do smoke a bong once in a while, so it can’t kill that fast. Pot is not a good thing, but it’s also not as bad as Germans of the middle classes and my mom say it is. And I want to end with something Seamus always used to say: “But it’s just a plant!”
Seamus is an Irish lad from Galway (the party capital of Ireland). He’s probably the craziest guy I’ve been with and also the one that was most involved into drugs.
Ok, let’s be honest: In Ireland it’s totally normal to be smoking pot if you are in your 20’s or a bit younger and if you like socializing. Here’s a conversation between an Irish guy from Dublin and a girl:
GIRL: Do you smoke?
GUY: No, do you?
GIRL: Depends on what!
GUY: Oh, I smoke that, of course!
Seamus was just like that. He would never smoke a cigarette. He never had the urge for tobacco. But he loved his joints and bongs. He had also tried nearly every other kind of drug. And of course, he drank like an Irish. When I once asked him if there is any drug he hasn’t tried yet, he replied without even having to think about it: “Heroin! I would never to that. But everything else I’ve done!” He started smoking marihuana at the age of 16, but he didn’t on a regular basis before the age of 20. He used to take crack and ecstasy, but stopped because crack in particular can make a person very aggressive and he is too much of a laid-back guy to get into fights. He spends most of his evenings smoking 2-3 joints of marihuana or cannabis. And as everybody can assume, his best vacations he spent in the Netherlands! He sometimes also bragged about taking acid after having had 2 joints – a combination which never made sense to me- but that would not happen more often than once a month.
For most of you Seamus now probably sounds like a dumb, scruffy, anti-social, and unemployed drug-addict who doesn’t have a future because he only lives for his drugs. But that’s not true at all. Seamus was extremely intelligent and very interested in history. He had a well-paying job in a big company, but hoped that one day he’d be able to make a living as a musician. He was a fabulous drummer and singer. I’ve never met a guy who would spend more time in the bathroom before going out on Friday night. So, why did so many of my friends shook their head and had a disapproving look into their faces when I told them about Seamus and his little experiments with drugs?
I think, for most Germans, even for people my generation, smoking pot is a big taboo. Lot’s of them think that smoking grass is the entrance into a life of heroin-addiction and prostitution. On TV we can often see German teenagers who are from the worst parts of Berlin or Cologne who only have one goal: to acquire money to buy more pot. Those teenagers usually haven’t finished school, don’t have a job, and don’t have any interests apart from drugs. But not all joint-smokers are like that!
At the moment Seamus is working and travelling in New Zealand (where the pot is supposed to be of a very good quality, he told me) and he has met lots of other travelers from very different countries and he told me that of all the different nations he met, it was always the Germans who said that they don’t smoke grass. I also don’t personally know any Germans who smoke pot. Or do they just not talk about it? Quite a few American or a Kiwi college students would have problems to name one of their friends who NEVER smoked joints or bongs. And when Seamus was looking for a place to live in New Zealand, he looked at a room in a house of three guys and the first question they asked him was: “Do you smoke pot?” Of course, he immediately got the room! So, in lots of countries the people speak openly about marihuana consumption, but in Germany it’s not possible. I guess that is because in Germany pot is considered a strong drug and taking drugs is something that usually only happens in the lower class and being part of the lower class normally means being uneducated, scruffy, and unemployed. And who would want that? But that is a phenomenon that seems to exist only in Germany, because in the USA, Ireland, New Zealand, Australia … people of all classes tend to enjoy their pot!
I’m not saying that smoking marihuana is a good thing because it does kill loads of brain cells, more than alcohol does. But I know a few American straight A college students who do smoke a bong once in a while, so it can’t kill that fast. Pot is not a good thing, but it’s also not as bad as Germans of the middle classes and my mom say it is. And I want to end with something Seamus always used to say: “But it’s just a plant!”
Short Story
Libraryphobia
“Are you also scared of libraries? No? Well, not yet. Have you never been in one of those libraries who have a whole department in the cellar? The one I’m thinking of has a huge, dark hall which is divided into three parts and all of those parts look exactly the same; it’s so easy to get totally lost. The shelves are really close together and due to bad lighting and the lack of windows, you sometimes have problems reading the signatures if you have to find a book in a corner. The hall also smells kind of funny. There might be some people who like the smell of dusty, old books, but I prefer new books; they smell clean. However, let’s advance to my story:
A few months ago I had to go into this cellar library to look for books for my thesis. I’ve never liked to go there because this cellar department is kind of uncanny. Usually I would take a friend with me, so I wouldn’t be alone. But my friends weren’t available and since I was really getting behind on my work, I decided to go although it was already late. At this hour I was the only one there and the hall even looked scarier than usual. However, I started looking for the books and I was surprised how fast I found good material for my thesis, but then I suddenly saw a shadow between the shelves. I was irritated because I thought I was alone. So, I put the book back and stepped into the main row to see if there was somebody. But I couldn’t see anybody. I thought that I just imagined the shadow because this library has always given me the creeps. I went back to my search. When I was in a corner where the lights flickered, everything suddenly went black….
I woke up and realized that I must have fainted. (The air was so bad due to the lack of a decent air conditioning system.) I didn’t know how long I had been unconscious, but I figured that it was time to go. While I picked up my books I again saw a shadow, but this time I completely ignored it because I didn’t want to drive myself crazy. When I stepped into the main row I realized that the door to the upper part of the library was shut. Usually they keep it open. And when I tried to open the door my worst fears became reality: I was locked in the scariest library in this world for the night. I couldn’t believe they don’t even check whether the library was empty before they lock the door. If they had, they would have found me. However, while I was wondering about that, the lights went out and it was completely dark. I became so terrified and started screaming for help. But nobody came; I guess they couldn’t hear me. I suddenly heard a noise behind me. I immediately turned on my cell phone, but it was senseless because there was absolutely no reception down there. At least I could see the time on my phone. It was 20.15 pm, exactly 15 minutes after the closing hours of the library. While checking the time, I realized that there was a heavy breathing behind me. I turned around and tried to use the faint light of my phone to see who it was. But the only thing I could make out was a huge knife somebody was holding. I screamed, kicked the person into his stomach, and ran back between the shelves. My phone gave me the possibility to see at least where the rows began. But while I was crouching in a corner trying not to freak out, I saw that this big person that was following me had an advantage: a flashlight. He slowly walked along the main row and looked into every single small row. I knew that he would soon discover me and that’s why I squeezed myself onto an empty shelf and hoped I would look like a bunch of books. While he shined his light into my row, my heart was beating so heavy that I was afraid that he could hear it. He held the light beam for a few unbelievable long seconds and then went on. My trick must have worked. But when I tried to get off the shelf, the metal of the shelf creaked hearable. I froze to stone. But he had heard it and came back into my row. He approached very slowly. I dived forward and managed to surprise him. I hit him in the face and ran for another part of the hall. While looking for another hiding place I felt a wet spot on my back. I realized that it was blood and then I also felt the pain. I heard him coming behind me and I chose the next row for a hiding place. But when I walked along the shelves I realized that again it was a dead-end and before I realized I couldn’t escape, he came running in my direction. Before I could scream he started stabbing me. My phone fell on the ground and I slumped down. I could not see his face. And the very last thing I saw before I lost consciousness was a signature of a book: 95A17384.
Do you believe in ghosts? No? I didn’t either, before I became one. I now hunt the cellar department of the library. I can’t leave it; every time I try I end up at the exact spot I was killed at. But I can touch and read books and I can also work a computer.
Carrie O’Flannery”
Director of the Library: “This text was found as a Word-document in one of the computers of the lowest floor of our library on 6th December, 1996. The library team could not bring to light who wrote it. But we can confirm that the book with signature 95A17384 is located at the site where Carrie O’Flannery was killed on 28th July 1996. This fact is something that only the police and the team of the library know because it was never made public until now.”
“Are you also scared of libraries? No? Well, not yet. Have you never been in one of those libraries who have a whole department in the cellar? The one I’m thinking of has a huge, dark hall which is divided into three parts and all of those parts look exactly the same; it’s so easy to get totally lost. The shelves are really close together and due to bad lighting and the lack of windows, you sometimes have problems reading the signatures if you have to find a book in a corner. The hall also smells kind of funny. There might be some people who like the smell of dusty, old books, but I prefer new books; they smell clean. However, let’s advance to my story:
A few months ago I had to go into this cellar library to look for books for my thesis. I’ve never liked to go there because this cellar department is kind of uncanny. Usually I would take a friend with me, so I wouldn’t be alone. But my friends weren’t available and since I was really getting behind on my work, I decided to go although it was already late. At this hour I was the only one there and the hall even looked scarier than usual. However, I started looking for the books and I was surprised how fast I found good material for my thesis, but then I suddenly saw a shadow between the shelves. I was irritated because I thought I was alone. So, I put the book back and stepped into the main row to see if there was somebody. But I couldn’t see anybody. I thought that I just imagined the shadow because this library has always given me the creeps. I went back to my search. When I was in a corner where the lights flickered, everything suddenly went black….
I woke up and realized that I must have fainted. (The air was so bad due to the lack of a decent air conditioning system.) I didn’t know how long I had been unconscious, but I figured that it was time to go. While I picked up my books I again saw a shadow, but this time I completely ignored it because I didn’t want to drive myself crazy. When I stepped into the main row I realized that the door to the upper part of the library was shut. Usually they keep it open. And when I tried to open the door my worst fears became reality: I was locked in the scariest library in this world for the night. I couldn’t believe they don’t even check whether the library was empty before they lock the door. If they had, they would have found me. However, while I was wondering about that, the lights went out and it was completely dark. I became so terrified and started screaming for help. But nobody came; I guess they couldn’t hear me. I suddenly heard a noise behind me. I immediately turned on my cell phone, but it was senseless because there was absolutely no reception down there. At least I could see the time on my phone. It was 20.15 pm, exactly 15 minutes after the closing hours of the library. While checking the time, I realized that there was a heavy breathing behind me. I turned around and tried to use the faint light of my phone to see who it was. But the only thing I could make out was a huge knife somebody was holding. I screamed, kicked the person into his stomach, and ran back between the shelves. My phone gave me the possibility to see at least where the rows began. But while I was crouching in a corner trying not to freak out, I saw that this big person that was following me had an advantage: a flashlight. He slowly walked along the main row and looked into every single small row. I knew that he would soon discover me and that’s why I squeezed myself onto an empty shelf and hoped I would look like a bunch of books. While he shined his light into my row, my heart was beating so heavy that I was afraid that he could hear it. He held the light beam for a few unbelievable long seconds and then went on. My trick must have worked. But when I tried to get off the shelf, the metal of the shelf creaked hearable. I froze to stone. But he had heard it and came back into my row. He approached very slowly. I dived forward and managed to surprise him. I hit him in the face and ran for another part of the hall. While looking for another hiding place I felt a wet spot on my back. I realized that it was blood and then I also felt the pain. I heard him coming behind me and I chose the next row for a hiding place. But when I walked along the shelves I realized that again it was a dead-end and before I realized I couldn’t escape, he came running in my direction. Before I could scream he started stabbing me. My phone fell on the ground and I slumped down. I could not see his face. And the very last thing I saw before I lost consciousness was a signature of a book: 95A17384.
Do you believe in ghosts? No? I didn’t either, before I became one. I now hunt the cellar department of the library. I can’t leave it; every time I try I end up at the exact spot I was killed at. But I can touch and read books and I can also work a computer.
Carrie O’Flannery”
Director of the Library: “This text was found as a Word-document in one of the computers of the lowest floor of our library on 6th December, 1996. The library team could not bring to light who wrote it. But we can confirm that the book with signature 95A17384 is located at the site where Carrie O’Flannery was killed on 28th July 1996. This fact is something that only the police and the team of the library know because it was never made public until now.”
Short Story
Urban Legends: Only the Virgins survive!
Do you believe in urban legends? Have you heard the one about innocent teenagers who stay virgins and survive whereas teenagers who had sex will always die? Well, this one is used frequently in American horror movies, but maybe it is not only true in movies!? Let me tell you a story about David, the American guy I was dating and was having sex with.
It’s Saturday at 11.30 pm. David and I are standing at the train station waiting for the train that will take me to my hometown. We are in a small German village which is in the middle of nowhere. The train station is at the end of the village surrounded by a dark forest. It is badly lit and completely abandoned. The station was probably build in 1850 and after that nobody ever tried to renovate it. There are no sounds at all, even the wind is too scared to blow here. The streets are empty except for a few black cats and we are tipsy. David’s friends are having a party down at the lake which is a 30-minute walk away. The train comes, I give him a good-bye kiss and while the train leaves I see him standing there waving at me. The train arrives in my hometown and I call David. I hear the dial tone, the call goes through, it must be ringing, it takes a long time, he doesn’t pick up, I keep calling, I’m still waiting, I get worried….Finally, he picks up. He is out of breath. He probably walks very fast to get through this scary town back to his friends. He tells me that his imagination goes crazy when he’s drunk and that this village is the perfect place for vampires, zombies, and axe murderers. I laugh. He’s so funny. We talk about nothing important. I just want to keep him company while he has to walk back alone. I can already hear the party at the lake through the phone. He can’t be far away. He shrieks. But then he tells me that he just saw a frog jumping in front of his feet. The music gets louder. I’m ready to hang up. But he asks me to hold on a little longer. Then I hear something grunting on David’s side. He suddenly sounds scared. I can hear how he whirls around. Through the phone I hear movements in the bushes. He screams. I can hear punches and muffled cries for help. I want to know what’s wrong. He doesn’t answer. I can’t do anything. I feel helpless. I can hear how David is dragged through the woods. He must still have his phone in his hand. It seems to take forever. The dragging stops. I again hear the grunts. They sounds are echoed. They must be in a cave. I can hear David’s rapid and heavy breathing. I hear his last terrified scream and then a heavy blow to his head. The phone drops. The call is disconnected.
I wake up. I’m glad that this horrible dream is over. I look around. My room is full of flowers and bereavement cards. I’m wearing black clothes. I remember. I just came back from David’s funeral. It was held, hough his body was never found. I must have fallen asleep while crying. I remember that urban legend. Would he still be alive if he had been a virgin?
Do you believe in urban legends? Have you heard the one about innocent teenagers who stay virgins and survive whereas teenagers who had sex will always die? Well, this one is used frequently in American horror movies, but maybe it is not only true in movies!? Let me tell you a story about David, the American guy I was dating and was having sex with.
It’s Saturday at 11.30 pm. David and I are standing at the train station waiting for the train that will take me to my hometown. We are in a small German village which is in the middle of nowhere. The train station is at the end of the village surrounded by a dark forest. It is badly lit and completely abandoned. The station was probably build in 1850 and after that nobody ever tried to renovate it. There are no sounds at all, even the wind is too scared to blow here. The streets are empty except for a few black cats and we are tipsy. David’s friends are having a party down at the lake which is a 30-minute walk away. The train comes, I give him a good-bye kiss and while the train leaves I see him standing there waving at me. The train arrives in my hometown and I call David. I hear the dial tone, the call goes through, it must be ringing, it takes a long time, he doesn’t pick up, I keep calling, I’m still waiting, I get worried….Finally, he picks up. He is out of breath. He probably walks very fast to get through this scary town back to his friends. He tells me that his imagination goes crazy when he’s drunk and that this village is the perfect place for vampires, zombies, and axe murderers. I laugh. He’s so funny. We talk about nothing important. I just want to keep him company while he has to walk back alone. I can already hear the party at the lake through the phone. He can’t be far away. He shrieks. But then he tells me that he just saw a frog jumping in front of his feet. The music gets louder. I’m ready to hang up. But he asks me to hold on a little longer. Then I hear something grunting on David’s side. He suddenly sounds scared. I can hear how he whirls around. Through the phone I hear movements in the bushes. He screams. I can hear punches and muffled cries for help. I want to know what’s wrong. He doesn’t answer. I can’t do anything. I feel helpless. I can hear how David is dragged through the woods. He must still have his phone in his hand. It seems to take forever. The dragging stops. I again hear the grunts. They sounds are echoed. They must be in a cave. I can hear David’s rapid and heavy breathing. I hear his last terrified scream and then a heavy blow to his head. The phone drops. The call is disconnected.
I wake up. I’m glad that this horrible dream is over. I look around. My room is full of flowers and bereavement cards. I’m wearing black clothes. I remember. I just came back from David’s funeral. It was held, hough his body was never found. I must have fallen asleep while crying. I remember that urban legend. Would he still be alive if he had been a virgin?
Opinion Piece
Casual Sex: the relationship of the 21st century?
Casual Sex, frequent sex with a buddy without having a relationship, seems to become increasingly popular. You can read about it in magazines for girls which explain how you are supposed to go about it. There are thousands of articles on the web telling you where you can find your fuck-buddy and even Sex and the City-girl Carrie has casual sex. But what about regular Joe? Are we really ready for casual sex yet?
If I had a fuck-buddy and told other people about it, would they be very happy for me and hope for me to have fun or would they be skeptical? Let’s just assume they would not be very happy, because when I mentioned that I will just write about this topic, some people already turned up their noses. But why? Sometimes the opinions I hear are so conservative that I get the feeling that I’m stuck in the 19th century where girls were supposed to be the angels of the house.
However, if a guy has casual sex, then that is totally normal, because a guy is really cool if he has lots of sex outside of a relationship. If a girl has lots of sex, she is a whore. I am not much of a feminist; I really like it when a guy opens the door for me and I think that it is the guy’s task to repair the car. But when it comes to sex, I insist on some equality and freedom to do whatever I want. Moreover, what strikes me most is that often girls are the ones that criticize those who have casual sex; the guys usually think it’s grand that the girls are finally as open-minded as themselves.
Casual sex is one of the best inventions ever. It’s more than a one-night stand because you actually know the person you are having sex with and you don’t have all that relationship-baggage. That means you are leaving out all the heart-brokenness and just have the fun part! Of course, it is not something you want to have for the rest of your life, but it seems to be a good way to pass the time while you are waiting for prince charming. And casual sex does have advantages over one-night stands: there are no lies to get somebody into bed because it is clear that it’s only about sex and endless flirting is not necessary.
Some might ask if it is even possible to regularly have sex with somebody without having feelings for that person. I am convinced that it is, because sometimes you meet a person and although you find him very attractive, you know that you would never be able to have a relationship with him. So, why not ask him to become your fuck-buddy? That way you can still have him, but you can avoid the endless quarrels about emotions and hurt feelings.
I think that we should all wake up and realize that we are in the 21st century where the sexual revolution has already taken place. For those who don’t want to wait for their prince charming in the boring way, a fuck-buddy is the right choice. Just don’t forget the condoms!
Casual Sex, frequent sex with a buddy without having a relationship, seems to become increasingly popular. You can read about it in magazines for girls which explain how you are supposed to go about it. There are thousands of articles on the web telling you where you can find your fuck-buddy and even Sex and the City-girl Carrie has casual sex. But what about regular Joe? Are we really ready for casual sex yet?
If I had a fuck-buddy and told other people about it, would they be very happy for me and hope for me to have fun or would they be skeptical? Let’s just assume they would not be very happy, because when I mentioned that I will just write about this topic, some people already turned up their noses. But why? Sometimes the opinions I hear are so conservative that I get the feeling that I’m stuck in the 19th century where girls were supposed to be the angels of the house.
However, if a guy has casual sex, then that is totally normal, because a guy is really cool if he has lots of sex outside of a relationship. If a girl has lots of sex, she is a whore. I am not much of a feminist; I really like it when a guy opens the door for me and I think that it is the guy’s task to repair the car. But when it comes to sex, I insist on some equality and freedom to do whatever I want. Moreover, what strikes me most is that often girls are the ones that criticize those who have casual sex; the guys usually think it’s grand that the girls are finally as open-minded as themselves.
Casual sex is one of the best inventions ever. It’s more than a one-night stand because you actually know the person you are having sex with and you don’t have all that relationship-baggage. That means you are leaving out all the heart-brokenness and just have the fun part! Of course, it is not something you want to have for the rest of your life, but it seems to be a good way to pass the time while you are waiting for prince charming. And casual sex does have advantages over one-night stands: there are no lies to get somebody into bed because it is clear that it’s only about sex and endless flirting is not necessary.
Some might ask if it is even possible to regularly have sex with somebody without having feelings for that person. I am convinced that it is, because sometimes you meet a person and although you find him very attractive, you know that you would never be able to have a relationship with him. So, why not ask him to become your fuck-buddy? That way you can still have him, but you can avoid the endless quarrels about emotions and hurt feelings.
I think that we should all wake up and realize that we are in the 21st century where the sexual revolution has already taken place. For those who don’t want to wait for their prince charming in the boring way, a fuck-buddy is the right choice. Just don’t forget the condoms!
Abonnieren
Posts (Atom)
